ABOUT THE BLOG

Letters (well, blogs) to the universe

I am starting again.

I am looking forward, trying not to plan too much. I am learning to live in the now after thirty years of living anywhere but. I am processing the past and letting it go.


I am writing to the universe in the hope that the universe will help me (not expecting a letter back!).

Oh, and I've started by quitting my job, buying a van, leaving my flat and heading somewhere new.

 

DEAR UNIVERSE,

 
 

15. Lucky

Dear Universe,


I'm feeling lucky. Blessed, fortunate, jammy as fuck.


I've been thinking how lucky I am to be doing what I'm doing. Then I started thinking about the idea of luck and what that really is. I'd rather be lucky than smart - that's how the saying goes, right? I'm not sure I agree. I'd rather be brave than lucky. If you are brave enough to try to do something, you may make a complete tit of yourself, but you also might create something amazing. I'd rather be hopeful than lucky. If you are optimistic it doesn't matter how shit things get, you are always going to truly believe that things will get better. More than anything though, I'd rather be grateful than lucky. If you are grateful for whatever happens, you feel lucky no matter what.


I took a pretty big leap of faith earlier this year and left my life behind to start fresh with no plan. It's not all been that easy and some of it has completely sucked but you've had my back, Universe, and I'm really grateful for that.


It seems to me that luck might not really exist. You do something, or you don't do something, and then you are happy with the consequences or you're not. Then you do something else and the cycle continues. Is that luck or is that just life? If you choose to be content with whatever the outcome is then there's no need for luck. One person might be over the moon with the same situation another person would be grumpy about.


I think the same attitude works with things that are done to you too, or things that are out of your control. Mr. Junk was recently broken in to and some things I loved were taken... super unlucky I thought. Then I got pretty confused as I started feeling grateful that more of my stuff wasn't taken, they didn't break anything and they didn't drive away leaving me with no van! I started thinking that maybe the person who took my things really needed them and how I was actually being a little unreasonable getting upset when I have so much, and perhaps this person has so little. Bad luck or not, I feel okay about it now. I'm not saying I want it to happen again, but it's done and it's not that bad.


Being grateful for what I have hasn't taken away my desire for more. I can't lie; I want more. I want a family, I want a career, I want inner peace and a body of a supermodel. Of course I do. But I also feel just as 'lucky' having people who love me, time to learn new skills and the idea of one day having my own business, the beginning of understanding how cool meditation is and a healthy body that rocks a pencil skirt. I've basically just realised that you can be grateful for what's going on in your life right now, and still be excited about other things that may come along or wish for things you'd really like to happen. You don't need to waste your time pining for them, that's for sure.


I should be careful writing this because I sound like I feel like that all the time. I don't. I get so anxious or sad about not having, or being, something sometimes that it's completely overwhelming. I forget to be grateful. I'm getting better at reminding myself though and I'd like it if one day I could completely practise what I preach.


I also need to say that I'm not talking about extreme situations. It's always relative, I know that, but I have never experienced something that meant I couldn't find at least something small to be grateful for. At least eventually and with a lot of support! I have experienced real sadness and heartbreak but nothing to the extreme I imagine is out there. So, for that reason, I want to play my own devil's advocate for a second before I go off into the world feeling too smug about my nice idea that luck isn't a real thing. I'm lucky enough to have been given the opportunity to decide what I do with my life. Advantages and privileges are complete luck. I can be grateful for them but I can't deny that I am a lucky bugger. I just happened to be born into a part of the world, to a particular family, in a particular time that meant I ended up being allowed to learn things, have things and choose things that some people never did. I don't get that, Universe. Why do you do that?


Having said that, people are amazing. We are all capable of being truly grateful no matter what you throw at us.


So, I stand by it - I'd rather be grateful than lucky.

Charlotte

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